After my entire family got a good laugh from my email I sent on Lent I thought this would be funny to share with everyone...I do pre-warn you the S-word is used a lot in this email, so sorry if your offended and feel free not to read it! Otherwise Have a blessed day!
So…today is a very important day in the catholic faith. It is the beginning of Lent, its a great time for reflection and understanding the sacrifice of Jesus before we celebrate Easter. Many people know it as the time when Catholics give up something, but I am way too old to be giving up so I use it as a time to find a way to enrich my life and those around me.
So today, I got up, went to Church, got my ashes, worked out with Sherri, and then came home and even took Bosley for a walk! I cleaned the kitchen and picked up the living, just getting stuff done. Then I had the CRAZY idea to go outside and pooper scoop (Kent has been on my for weeks), I figured, God blessed me with a wonderful day off, I am able to get my life in order, why not!
My first mistake was putting my new Uggs on versus the old ones, I put on pants and of course gloves. Well the woman at Pet Smart made the claw seem like it was the EASY solution to cleaning poop. Obviously, I have never done this so the last time it was done was before Jerods deployment. I get out there and start picking up poop, its going okay, then it start to get a little messy.
So here I am banging the pooper scooper gently to get the poop off…fine…then I notice poop has been flying on my clothes from the tapping, not freaking yet…then I as I continue I realize that Bosley has calcified shit in the yard, did you know shit came in so many different forms? There was orange shit, green shit, red shit, slushy shit, frozen shit, wet shit, pointy shit, traditional brown shit, pebble shit, multicolor shit, and my favorite BLOB shit. I filled a bucket full of shit. Had shit on my clothes, shit stuck in my shoes and on the bottom of my pants…shit everywhere! Oh and the best part. We have a dinky little tree in our yard so I went over to break a branch off to clean my Uggs, and when I started pushing to scrap the shit out of my Uggs, I lost balance and fell and my left hand landed in shit, thank god I was wearing gloves!
You know I never had any desire to have a dog, ever! Never needed one, I barely pet the one I have, so as all of you as my witness…I will probably never clean shit again. So if Jerod for the rest of our lives feels the need to have a dog, he will be the only person cleaning shit, because honestly after today, I can live without one! I actually had the thought of giving bosley a BUTT PLUG until he learns to use the toilet!
Have a Blessed Day and I hope its not full of shit!
Love,
Jess
About Me
- Jerod and Jessica
- Our favorite two things are to travel and shop. If we were billionaires that is all we would do. We love to go out, but we mostly enjoy quiet nights at home watching a movie. We love our families and try to spend as much time with them as possible. We enjoy the wild rollercoaster ride of life. We may be crazy but at least we are crazy about each other.
God Bless you...Thank goodness thats over and you will be so happy when Jerod gets back. I'm not so sure he is going to be happy. At least you can say Im sorry i can't do everything while you were gone.. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteMan, what a shitty day Jessica! I cleaned up Cotton's dried version in the house yesterday, love the inside out plastic bag trick.
ReplyDeleteWith that out of the way... for lent I am trying to do better too. My first plan is church every week during lent for sure. Plus do some of those random acts of kindness gestures. Have a bessed day too!
HAHAHA that is hilarious Jess! Seriously reminded me of something that would be on a sitcom! You crack me up!
ReplyDeleteSICK! hahah so funny! You should see the graveyard of poop in our backyard. I thought it was leaves until I took a closer look!
ReplyDeleteDon't ask me why, but I dreamt about your wedding. Just what I do this time of year, even though I am not planning one. So, I think that is a preminition that you need to give some responsibility to help you with. I will volunteer for sure that weekend at St. Ann as cooridinator. Which means I open doors early if you need me too! (for pre-pictures)
ReplyDeleteHope everything is going as planned. Let me know what I can do on this end. Lori
Lori you are amazing!!! I am so excited that you will be there to hep with everything. I will keep you posted on all the events! I have been bad at keep up lately!!
ReplyDelete